Being a blogger is a funny thing. I don’t have many readers, so many times I feel as if I am just sending out words into the void. But here is the thing, my words still matter. To me if no one else. And because of that, I feel tremendous pressure to write ‘correctly.’ To have something to say. And not just anything to say, but something substantive, important, original. That’s a lot of pressure!
And so many times, I allow this pressure to be amazing to silence my voice. It’s as if I only have two options, be remarkable, or be invisible. Be pitch perfect, or be silent. The more I think about it, the more parallels to this pressure I see across my life. If I can’t be the best, I often would rather not show up. And, may I just say, that as a working mom of two littles, there are precious few areas of life where I feel like I am bringing my A game these days. I can change a diaper like a champ. I am pretty darn good at using Amazon Prime. And I make a mean Eggo Waffle. Not exactly skills to brag (blog) about.
So where does that leave me? Silent. Afraid to share the thoughts I do have for fear that they are not polished, not worthy to send out into the world.
And yet, am I not a person, created in God’s own Image? Do my words not reflect his divine Creativity in the fact that I have strung them together from nothing, creating something out of the void?
All to often I let being the best become the enemy of being good. Of being mediocre even. Of being me. I lock myself in, for fear of lacking in comparison. I get stuck. In my own insecurity, my own reticence.
Is not writing a form of creating, which in itself is a form of worship? As I label the words in my mind as not worthy, I am affixing the same description to myself, as God’s created.
What is it that is holding you back from being fully you? How will you get unstuck today?
When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:
“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”
“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”